My answer was that being a grownup was a gradual thing for me. It started when I had my first kid, got bigger when I bought my first house, second kid, getting married, moving to NC on my own, etc. It wasn't like I woke up one day and said wow....I'm a grownup. I think that being a grownup means two things: that you accept responsibility for your actions and that you have the ability to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life and you make them.
Everyday I'm faced with decisions, sometimes small, and sometimes big. I always make a decision....even if that decision is to not make a decision. I made the decision to get out of the Army, and I made that decision for my child, since I didn't think it was fair for a child to grow up without their father. Was some of it about me? Yes, at the time, but never the less I made the decision, and while I can't say I've never looked back, I've accepted it and forged a new path. The new path I chose had a speedbump, and I made a choice to break my new family apart, since the third member didn't really want to be in a family with me; another decision made without hesitation. I did look back at first, but quickly graduated from that.
My next big decision came as the result of another poor choice. Let it never be said that I don't take responsibility for my actions, that I have two kids should be proof positive of that. I made the decision again, to make a family, with my one child and my new baby. I knew it wasn't going to be a forever decision, even at the time, but it was a necessary decision. Since I had forged my new path, I knew that a time would come that I would be able to break away the fourth part of my family; and when that time came....I made that decision too. That is something I have honestly never looked back on.
While it may seem cold and callous, like I was stepping on someone to get to the top; I feel justified in my actions, since I wasn't doing it out of self interest....I was doing it for my kids. I would make the same decision again without hesitation. There is a lot I can forgive if it's done in the best interest of your children. It's funny to me that my decision to both make my family and break my family apart was done with the same result in mind, a better life for my kids.
I was on my new path, in my new career, and I realized I was not satisfied. So I looked for jobs that would satisfy my in the one place I wanted to go, the last place that really felt like home to me....and everywhere else in the meantime. I interviewed, was hired, and moved, just as quickly as I could, another big decision down, no looking back. This decision has had some ups and downs....some of which are the same things, but I'm forging ahead full steam ahead. At the end of the day, this was the best decision I've made in recent memory, since I have a job that satisfies me, and my kids are in a better place than we were, and happier for it.
I suspect my next big decision will be where to purchase a home, but I can't look that far ahead just yet. I'm taking things as they come, meeting my obligations, and making decisions every single day.
Do I feel like a grownup? Yes, most of the time, and I'm okay with that. I mean really, who wants to be a grownup all the time?
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